I am messy. I don’t understand why or how, but I am. Not filthy to the point where it’s unhealthy for my kids, but I am messy. And my husband prefers the house to be clean. But if I get one more text telling me everything I left messy, I might have to divorce him.
I get it, it’s overall frowned upon to be dirty in this society. We have minimalists, and tiger moms, and all sorts of stuff. And I try, I really do. Many of my old habits are in the process of being broke. But, this is a message to the clean partner in the relationship. And some things to keep in mind.
1. Once you clean something, it’s over and clean: Stop making lists and talking about something that has been cleaned. Or something you had to point out, because that’s like crying over spilt milk and your partner has zoned this convo out a long time ago.
2. You knew I was messy: You know how people always say, “You knew who he was before you got married”. Well your ass knew I was messy. You knew. And even if there is incremental change in your spouse’s ability to clean, for the most part, they are who they are.
3. You need to face your own issues with cleanliness to: If you are in a healthy relationship, I can bet your non-clean partner tried their hardest. They got up and cleaned, and they even looked around, gave the room a once over, and thought, “Yes, I finally did something, right”. Then we get a list of all the things that we missed and we give up. Because why even try? We can’t live up to your expectations, (whatever they are in your little spic and span head) so why try? And are you really that narrow-minded where you can’t see your partner is trying?
From the mouth and mind of the dirty spouse…..cut us some slack and hire a maid.
Talk Soon,
Lavender Letitbe
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